Unveiling the Layers of a Narcissist: Selfish Guilt and Overcompensation

Over the years, I’ve observed a common trait among cheating narcissists—selfishness. They often prioritize their own desires above all else. If it’s a man, he might obsess over hobbies like collecting toys, focusing on his physique at the gym, or diving into electronics and cars. Women, on the other hand, might indulge in shopping, rigorous workout routines, or girls’ nights out, all while excluding their partners. Their addictive nature drives them to latch onto something, seeking fulfillment wherever they can find it.

However, there’s another type of cheater—the one who tries to mask their guilt with overcompensation. They shower you with gifts, make frequent calls throughout the day (likely to keep tabs on your whereabouts), plan special trips, and play the role of the perfect spouse.

Take my first husband, for example (let’s call him Cheater Number 1). He would call me after his escapades, regardless of the time or place. Eventually, I realized these calls were fueled by guilt, a feeble attempt to maintain the façade of normalcy in our relationship. It’s a common tactic among cheaters—to have one solid anchor in their life, a constant that masks their underlying issues.

Now, distinguishing a cheater from a faithful partner isn’t always straightforward. We can be blindsided by their deception, especially if we’re invested in the idea of their change. But here’s the truth: cheaters rarely change and Narcissists Never Change. Their behavior is deeply ingrained, a compulsion they can’t resist, a disease of the mind and body.

So, how do you spot a cheater? Research, intuition, and sometimes, a harsh reality check are your best tools. And remember, it’s okay to walk away from a relationship that’s built on deceit.