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Glossary of Difficult Relationship Behaviors

When people begin learning about unhealthy relationship patterns, they often encounter unfamiliar terms.

Words like gaslighting, love bombing, or trauma bonding appear frequently in discussions about manipulation and emotional abuse. For many readers, discovering these terms brings an unexpected sense of clarity. Experiences that once felt confusing begin to make more sense.

The glossary below introduces some of the most commonly discussed behaviors associated with manipulative or unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Understanding these terms can help people recognize patterns they may have struggled to explain before.

Jump to a Letter

B | C | D | E | G | H | I | L | N | P | S | T

B

Blame Shifting

Blame shifting occurs when a person refuses to accept responsibility for their actions and instead redirects fault onto someone else.

Statements may include:

• “You made me do that.”
• “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t…”
• “You’re the one causing the problem.”

Over time, the partner may begin to feel responsible for problems they did not create.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing refers to giving just enough attention to keep someone emotionally invested while never fully committing to the relationship.

Examples may include:

• occasional messages after long silence
• vague plans that never materialize
• small signs of interest that never develop into real commitment

These small “breadcrumbs” of attention keep hope alive without genuine connection.

C

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance occurs when someone struggles to reconcile two conflicting realities.

For example, a person may believe their partner loves them while simultaneously experiencing behavior that feels hurtful or manipulative.

This internal conflict can make it difficult to fully accept what is happening in the relationship.

D

DARVO

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

It describes a pattern where someone confronted about harmful behavior responds by:

• denying the behavior
• attacking the person raising the concern
• portraying themselves as the victim instead

This tactic can leave the person raising the concern feeling confused or guilty for speaking up.

Devaluation

Devaluation often follows a period of intense admiration in certain unhealthy relationship cycles.

A partner who was once praised and idealized may begin experiencing:

• criticism
• emotional distance
• insults or belittling comments
• loss of affection

The shift can feel sudden and confusing.

Discard

In some unhealthy relationship patterns, a partner may abruptly end the relationship or withdraw emotionally without warning.

This phase is sometimes referred to as the discard.

The individual may move quickly into another relationship or appear emotionally detached, leaving the former partner struggling to understand what happened.

E

Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation occurs when someone attempts to control another person’s emotions or decisions through psychological tactics.

Examples may include:

• guilt-inducing statements
• exaggerating emotional reactions
• using the silent treatment
• creating pressure through emotional distress

These behaviors can make partners feel responsible for managing the other person’s feelings.

G

Gaslighting

Gaslighting occurs when a person repeatedly manipulates someone into doubting their own memory, perception, or understanding of events.

Examples may include:

• denying things that clearly happened
• insisting conversations never occurred
• claiming the other person is imagining things
• suggesting the partner is overly sensitive

Over time, the partner may begin to question their own reality.

H

Hoovering

Hoovering refers to attempts to pull someone back into a relationship after separation.

These attempts may include:

• sudden apologies
• emotional messages
• promises to change
• reminders of positive memories

The goal is often to reestablish contact or regain emotional influence.

I

Intermittent Reinforcement

Intermittent reinforcement refers to cycles of affection and withdrawal.

The relationship may alternate between:

• warmth and connection
• emotional distance
• criticism or silence

These unpredictable cycles can strengthen emotional attachment even when the relationship becomes painful.

L

Love Bombing

Love bombing refers to an intense period of attention, affection, and admiration early in a relationship.

This may include:

• excessive compliments
• rapid declarations of love
• constant communication
• grand romantic gestures

Although it may initially feel exciting, the intensity may later be followed by withdrawal or criticism.

N

Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is a term often used to describe patterns of emotional and psychological harm that can occur in relationships with individuals who display strong narcissistic traits.

These relationships frequently involve cycles of admiration, criticism, manipulation, and emotional instability.

Common behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse may include:

• gaslighting
• blame shifting
• emotional manipulation
• excessive criticism or belittling
• controlling behavior
• sudden shifts between affection and emotional withdrawal

Over time, these patterns can lead the partner to feel confused, emotionally exhausted, or unsure of their own perceptions.

Many people describe feeling as though they slowly lost confidence in their own judgment while trying to maintain the relationship.

Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, or emotional reaction that some individuals rely on to maintain their self-image.

This attention can come from:

• praise or admiration
• romantic partners
• social attention
• emotional reactions from others

When this supply decreases, the individual may seek attention from new sources.

P

Projection

Projection occurs when someone accuses another person of the very behavior they themselves are engaging in.

Examples can include:

• a dishonest partner accusing the other of lying
• someone hiding secrets, accusing the other person of being secretive

Projection often creates confusion and defensiveness.

S

Silent Treatment

The silent treatment involves withdrawing communication as a way to control a situation or punish the other person.

Instead of discussing the issue, the individual may:

• refuse to respond
• ignore messages
• avoid interaction

Over time, this can pressure the partner to apologize simply to restore communication.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling occurs when someone shuts down communication during conflict.

They may:

• refuse to engage in conversation
• abruptly end discussions
• walk away during arguments
• avoid addressing the issue

This behavior prevents conflicts from being resolved.

T

Trauma Bond

A trauma bond forms when cycles of harm and reconciliation create a powerful emotional attachment.

Periods of distress may be followed by moments of affection or apology.

Over time, the partner may feel deeply attached even while recognizing the relationship is unhealthy.

Triangulation

Triangulation occurs when a third person is introduced into a relationship dynamic to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity.

Examples may include:

• comparing one partner to another person
• sharing relationship conflicts with outsiders
• using attention from others to provoke jealousy

This behavior often destabilizes trust.

Why Understanding These Terms Matters

For many people, discovering these terms provides an unexpected sense of clarity.

Experiences that once felt confusing begin to form recognizable patterns. Understanding the language used to describe unhealthy relationship behaviors can help individuals better process their experiences and move forward with greater awareness.

Sometimes the first step toward healing is simply realizing that the behaviors we experienced have names—and that others have encountered them too.

With awareness and strength,
Liza Seamone
Recovering Survivor / Author