Where did I go?

In a household where meticulousness reigns supreme, my sister-in-law Kara holds sway. Her home is a testament to order, where everything finds its designated place. Her husband Mendall, too, shares her penchant for precision, a fact well-known to everyone, especially their mother.

One day, while preparing coffee with Mom-in-law, Kara stumbled upon a disarray of coffee filters, carelessly tossed about in the cabinet. Frustration boiled over as she couldn’t fathom how such chaos had infiltrated their meticulously organized domain. Accusations flew, with Kara directing her ire at Mendall. Yet, Mom-in-law, ever the defender of her sons, offered a classic excuse – perhaps Mendall had simply used one to tidy up.

It’s a classic response, emblematic of a mother’s unwavering belief in her children’s infallibility. No matter the misstep, there’s always a plausible explanation to absolve them of blame. Raised in such an environment, these boys grew up shielded from the consequences of their actions, indulged by a mother who believed they could do no wrong.

However, this nurturing of narcissistic tendencies comes at a cost. While mischief is par for the course in childhood, having parental endorsement for such behavior, regardless of its impact on others, paints a troubling picture. Group discussions about Mom’s unwavering support for her sons often take a humorous turn, with jests about her boundless maternal loyalty, even in the face of heinous deeds.

Reflecting on this, I realize that if one of my children’s partners approached me with concerns akin to those I’ve faced with Blend, I’d take immediate action. Yet, Mom-in-law takes a different approach. Her secretive nature, coupled with her penchant for clandestine phone calls, mirrors the very behavior she instilled in her children.

Initially, she sought solace in my perceived sympathy for Blend’s supposed “sex addiction,” calling weekly to inquire about his well-being. But when his addiction spiraled out of control, she transitioned from concerned mother to enabler, aiding him in concealing his transgressions and accumulating funds for his clandestine liaisons.

Recently, I stumbled upon evidence of her complicity—mail sent to Blend at his workplace, complete with covert cash transactions, ensuring his indiscretions remain undetected. Meanwhile, our family struggles to make ends meet, with basic necessities becoming luxuries while Blend cavorts with his clandestine companions.

As Christmas approaches, our spirits remain shattered, burdened by financial woes and broken dreams. Despite her annual tradition of sending monetary gifts to the children, her callous disregard for my plight—the woman who has endured Blend’s deceit for over two decades—is a bitter pill to swallow.

This isn’t a lament over being excluded from her festive cheer, but rather a testament to her unwavering support of Blend’s destructive behavior. With each enabling gesture, she reinforces his belief that he can continue hurting and manipulating women with impunity. In her misguided attempt at maternal devotion, she unwittingly perpetuates his cycle of abuse, setting a damning example for future generations.