No ones immune!
PERFECT EXAMPLE: Herman Cain’s decision to suspend his presidential bid following revelations of an extramarital affair is sadly all too familiar. Cheaters like Cain are notorious for their penchant for deception, often resorting to outright denial in the face of overwhelming evidence. Even when confronted with incontrovertible proof, they cling to their falsehoods with unwavering determination.
Cain’s wife’s refusal to acknowledge the truth mirrors the plight of many spouses who find themselves ensnared in the web of a serial cheater. Despite repeated betrayals, they cling to a facade of denial, unwilling or unable to confront the painful reality of their partner’s infidelity.
The parallels between Cain’s behavior and that of habitual cheaters like Blend are striking. Time and again, they weave elaborate webs of deceit, manipulating those around them to protect their fragile egos and maintain their facade of respectability. As citizens, entrusting the leadership of our nation to individuals like Cain would be a grave mistake. Likewise, entering into relationships with individuals who embody the same traits—sex addiction, chronic lying, and infidelity—is a recipe for heartache and disillusionment.
Unrepairable —The lengths a narcissistic sex addict will go.
A narcissistic sex addict operates with a level of cunning and deceit that rivals any other addiction. Their primary concern is not about being seen in public, but rather about concealing their actions from you and others in your household. They employ various tactics to maintain their secret lives, such as setting up multiple email accounts under fictitious names, often using passwords with personal significance to them, imbued with a sense of power or boasting about their desires.
Their telephone and internet activity increase, as they believe using their phone to go online covers their tracks. However, there are always ways to uncover their deceitful behavior and expose them for who they truly are. Shameless and relentless, a sex addict knows no bounds in their pursuit of gratification, even using work hours to satisfy their cravings.
Blend’s dedication to his deceitful behavior knew no bounds, delving into extraordinary lengths that likely remain hidden to this day. One glaring example is when he not only taught his brother how to navigate online platforms like Plenty of Fish and Facebook but went as far as setting up his brother’s accounts for him.
The extent of his manipulation became evident when one of Blend’s targets revealed that she initially connected with him on Plenty of Fish, only to discover that the account and accompanying photo did not belong to him. In a cunning move, Blend concocted a story, claiming that he was using his brother’s account because his purported ex-wife (we were still married, with him pleading, begging, and proclaiming his love for me) was a relentless stalker, and he needed to conceal his identity to evade her. This ruse, despite its audacity, proved successful, allowing Blend to continue his duplicitous activities undetected.
This insidious pattern of deception extended beyond online interactions, as evidenced by the discovery of his infidelity by his long-term girlfriend, who fell victim to similar manipulative tactics. Such calculated schemes underscore the severity of a narcissistic sex addict’s willingness to go to extreme lengths to maintain their facade and perpetuate their harmful behaviors.
Employers may have tracking systems in place, as exemplified by a CEO who was fired after an investigation revealed extensive use of office phones and computers for explicit activities. Despite the discovery, the CEO was allowed to move on to another company, perpetuating their destructive behavior elsewhere.
A sex addict will sacrifice time with their family, arriving late to events or skipping them altogether, in favor of seeking attention elsewhere. They may frequent unconventional and inexpensive dating venues, presenting a facade to attract attention and sympathy from others. Their need for validation knows no bounds, and they will go to great lengths to maintain their secret arrangements, relishing the thrill of deception.
It’s crucial to recognize that addiction is a lifelong struggle, and a narcissistic sex addict is unlikely to change without genuine dedication to self-improvement. Just as large corporations cut ties with problematic individuals, it may be necessary to sever ties with such individuals to protect yourself and others from their damaging behavior. Ultimately, you are not obligated to fix someone who shows no commitment to fixing themselves.
Sometimes it takes a catalyst!
After years of Blend dedicating his skills to crafting beautiful homes for others, we embarked on a journey to build our own. Everything seemed promising as the ground was broken and construction began. However, six months into the project, my own professional world was thrown into disarray when the company I worked for shut down. Faced with the choice of seeking new employment or reviving my own business, we opted for the latter. With a solid client base, it seemed like the sensible decision, especially given the ongoing construction project.
During this time, Blend’s grandmother fell ill and passed away, prompting him to make multiple trips back to the northeast alone. Our children were in school, and as a self-employed individual, I had the flexibility to manage things at home. Blend’s absence was necessary, but it also provided an opportunity for him to reconnect with family and friends. Little did I know, these trips would unveil a darker reality lurking beneath the surface of our seemingly stable relationship.
One Saturday in early summer, a revelation from my son, Will, shed light on Blend’s questionable behavior. Despite their supposed work on the construction site, Blend’s incessant phone activity raised suspicions. It was a wake-up call for me, prompting me to investigate further. What I discovered shattered the illusion of trust and stability I had clung to for so long.
A clandestine text message exchange revealed Blend’s involvement with another woman, sparking a confrontation that would forever alter the course of our lives. The ensuing argument escalated into a physical altercation, prompting me to involve the authorities. It was a harrowing ordeal, but it marked the beginning of my journey towards reclaiming my life from the chaos and deceit that had consumed it.
In the aftermath of this revelation, my investigations uncovered a web of lies and infidelity, involving not just one, but multiple women. Despite my efforts to confront him and seek closure, Blend remained steadfast in his denial, refusing to acknowledge the extent of his betrayal.
As the year drew to a close, Blend’s behavior continued to deteriorate, culminating in a violent outburst on Christmas Eve. It was a stark reminder of the toxic environment we had been living in, prompting me to take decisive action to protect myself and my children.
Amidst the chaos and uncertainty, a glimmer of hope emerged in the form of a visit from a friend, Lee, who offered much-needed support during this tumultuous time. Together, we uncovered further evidence of Blend’s deceit, solidifying my resolve to break free from his toxic influence once and for all.
The final straw came when Blend’s erratic behavior during a night out with Lee led to a confrontation with the police, resulting in his arrest and subsequent counseling. It was a moment of reckoning that forced me to confront the harsh reality of our situation and take decisive action to secure a better future for myself and my children.
In the aftermath of these events, and my children coming to me asking me to get them away form all this, I made the difficult decision to leave everything behind and start anew across the country. It was a leap of faith, driven by the desire to escape the cycle of dysfunction and reclaim our lives. Though the road ahead was uncertain, it offered the promise of a fresh start, free from the shackles of Blend’s betrayal and deceit.
Where did I go? 