Signs of a Cheater

Do you have a cheater on your hands? There are many signs. Your cheater may fit all or some. I will keep the list updated as things come to me or you send in suggestions.

If you notice any sudden changes in his personality, demeanor, dress, grooming, etc. It may be time to investigate further. It may be nothing, it may be for you….but it may not and never hurts to discretely check into it.

1) Hides things, very secretive, but also nosey about you
2) Secretive with phone:
a) Keeps the phone locked
b) Keeps phone either hidden or on them at all times, to the extreme of bathroom, sleep, etc.
c) Turns sound off on phone so you can not hear calls, messages, notifications of any kind
d) Installs apps on phone to hide messages etc.
e) Has Google phone account to text & chat; call through (see i)
f) Does not like it if your phone is locked, because they know why theirs is
g) Starts using online chats through his phone so telephone numbers don’t register, they can have a full on chat by phone with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
h) Excessive amount of texting or phone calls, blocks as much as he can, always deletes as they go
i) May have a pay as you go phone account you don’t even even know about, although there are now apps they can download and have a separate hidden number
j) goes to unusual extremes to hide things
k) Closes screen on phone, computer, devices quickly when you appear
l) develops habit of keeping everything very clean: deletes calls, messages, activity, etc.
m) may offer unusual amount of information or detail about something they are doing or have done
3) Has some sort of pattern when they have cheated:
a) Calls you right after a cheating interlude
b) Gets on a high and may act silly
c) May have anger when first returns or just the opposite, overly affectionate
d) Brings you a little gift for no reason
4) Has a habit of putting you down. I had a cheater tell me he does this because he felt it would keep his spouse in her place. She would think she was lucky to have him because she has so many faults.
5) Can’t or won’t look you in the eye. Often avoids eye contact with you.
6) Starts shopping on his own when never did before. Always buying new and very different clothing than normal.
7) Performs a body manicure never dones before, ie: shaves pubic area, shaves arms, maybe a drastic facial hair change, completely different hair cut or hair products. Such as: May start body shaving when never did it before. Sure sign when left hairy and came home shaved.
8) Starts working out or increases work out. Buys body building products when on a tight budget
11) Use phone cards and calls from other locations (this one is starting to get out-dated due to #10
12) Develops new friends you never heard of
13) Employers may notice he spends more time on the computer at work than usual, will stay late to make calls from the office phone, sometimes even goes into the office on the weekends to make use of computer and phone (One employer contacted me that he noticed he would close door a lot and would change the computer screen quickly when someone came in. The employer had tracking and saw he had been visiting a dating website often)
14) Develops more and more skill on line. Joins as many chat lines and odd sites as possible. Any way to communicate with the opposite sex
15) Is skilled at the computer screen, keeps multiple windows and web pages open and on screen at one time. You will notice when you enter the room or come near…”click” he brings a window in front of the others that he doesn’t mind you seeing
16) When you enter the room where he is on the computer or texting he will spout off something about what he is reading, receiving, or doing to justify what he is doing. Such as, a news fact for the day or something that sounds wise, educational or interesting.
17) Calls you an unusual amount of times during the day. Unlike the normal. A cheater told me he is compelled to do this for the need to always know where his spouse is. Twofold, to make sure the spouse is not cheating also, and/or to keep tabs so the spouse is not in or near the same location as to catch the cheater
18) Takes longer than most to run an errand. What would take someone else and hour will take the cheater 2 or more, yet will contact you if you are taking to long with yours
19) Use instant messaging systems on their phone so they think you can’t find out
20) Very selfish, does not like to share, for instances: pays close attention to how much candy or how big the slice they get in comparison to everyone else

Most important on all accounts…they will turn the tables on you. An unloving guilty party will get angry and try to make you the villain. They will stand their ground and never admit. They make you the bad guy, etc. A loving guilt is when they feel horrible remorse, open up, talk, admit and want to mend. Admitting learning from their mistake and asking forgiveness.