Bipolar Tendencies

It’s been a stressful weekend. If you read my last post made early yesterday morning, you know Blend had a family meeting and then made the statement “let’s see how things change”. They changed alright but not for the good. His bipolar behavior kicked in big time.

The girls had Eucharist Minister duty at school yesterday from noon until 4PM. I awoke early and began to finish the Netflix movie I had started the night before when Blend offered up his movie the night. I was in and out making breakfast for the girls, ironing their cloths. Blend was gone when we all got up and didn’t arrive home until after 10:30. He had been told of the function they were to host for the day but had forgotten and inquired as to what was going on. I reminded him he had been told they had EM at their school for the day and he replied with apologies he had not remembered. He clearly thought or was attempting to imply “yet another thing he had not been included in” and when that failed to work he copped an attitude. Dealing with a sex addicted, bipolar,paranoid personality is liked dealing with a whacked out ADD/HDHD child. His tone set the mood and I knew it was going to prove to be torment without the girls in the house.

After the girls left I sat back down to complete the program I was watching. As soon as the door closed Blend was downstairs. He was hyper, walked around the house making as much noise as he could, knowing it would disturb my listening to the television. He talks out loud to himself a lot, in a disturbing mumbling tone. It’s unnerving to a point of sometimes scary. He went into the kitchen behind me and made noise with pots and pans which felt like it was to annoy me, but I simply turned the volume up completed the movie. All the while he’s jumping around the house, on his computer, singing (he can not carry a tune and that’s not sarcasm, or meanness, he really just can not). At one point he walked into the living room and wanted to argue but I was not up for it so I waived him away. He didn’t like that, called me a few names and told me my alienating him from the girls was going to come back to haunt me and I would go to hell. That’s the spiritual side of him talking (no joke). The hyper activity excelled after that, and whistling really loud and sporadically with no rhyme or tune, it was strange. I think he may have been drinking. He will buy himslef cheap booze and keep it up on his room supposedly to drown hi sorrows — self pity is more in tune.

Something was going on as he seemingly could not be still. He asked me if I could separate the cloths he would wash them. I needed to get back to my books and complete them for tax returns so I was thankful he offered. I went into my room to take a shower and dress. His behavior accelerated to a point that it became unnerving, so I ended up remaining in my room with the door locked for the remainder of the day. I was supposed to go visit with a cousin but it got canceled. I could not bear to deal with arguing and being subjected to his erratic personality this day so my election to seclude myself was the more comforting choice. It was after the girls got home that things were comforting yet unsettling at the same time.

I had been in my room from noon until 4:30, only coming out to eat lunch, which I actually played a Blend, made and took to my room. All the while Blend is singing, whistling, and turned the volume up on the living room television full blast. I could barely think and ended up turning my TV up loud so I could hear it — what a ridiculous way of living! The girls came home at 4:30. They threw themselves on my bed and hung close to me for the entire evening. We watched movies and laughed, cuddled and talked about everything and nothing…it was great fun. It was as though they knew what I had endured during the day. I took a break to make dinner and Blend was still at laundry on and off. The girls heard his whistling and commented on the unnerving strangeness of it. Thats is the only ting that was said.

The minute they got home he went up to his room and locked the door, only coming down to tend laundry. I know this because you can hear him lock it. This is exactly the behavior the girls complained about in his family meeting and it was as though he was exaggerating it. Why would a mature adult do that to his own children. It was like he was saying, “you wanna complain about me locking myself up in my room, I’ll show you what locking myself up in my room is really like”. I knocked on his door when dinner was ready and he didn’t come down immediately. He waited a bit. We were all at the table and he came into the kitchen 3 times and left, never making his plate. The first time telling me not to make his, he would do it himself. We sat at the table a long time, talking, laughing and just hanging together. It felt good, as though they had this natural instinct to be near me. They seemed to be nurturing me for a change, and after my day, it was nice to know they had that instinct. Blend never came and sat with us nor ate with us….the very ting he had complained about, he was not doing himself. I left everything on the stove and he later ate alone. The girls ran in and jumped right back on my bed where we hung out for the remainder of the evening, watched TV, played on the laptops, laughed and enjoyed one another’s company.

I went to sleep realizing with great comfort… my girls have intuition, and that’s a good thing 🙂 !!