Liza Seamone is not my real name.
I created this blog as a way to process and make sense of a lifetime of experiences involving narcissistic behavior, chronic infidelity, manipulation, compulsive sexual behavior, and the emotional confusion that often comes from loving people who are incapable of loving in healthy ways.
Long before I understood what narcissism was, I was being shaped by it.
I was raised in a deeply dysfunctional and emotionally abusive environment where survival often meant taking care of others while ignoring my own needs. Looking back now, I can see that many of the relationship patterns I later accepted in adulthood began in childhood.
I was married for the first time at only sixteen years old. I was not pregnant. I was simply very young, emotionally unprepared for adulthood, and raised in circumstances where independence came far too early.
Over the years, I experienced repeated patterns of betrayal, secrecy, manipulation, infidelity, and emotional instability across multiple relationships and marriages. My longest relationship — a marriage that lasted nearly twenty-five years after several years of dating — eventually forced me to confront the reality that I had spent much of my life entangled with narcissistic behavior and compulsive sexual patterns that I did not fully understand at the time.
Like many people in these relationships, I spent years questioning my instincts, doubting my perceptions, and wondering whether I was somehow responsible for the chaos surrounding me.
It took me more than fifteen years within that relationship to fully understand the depth of the manipulation, deception, and emotional damage I was experiencing.
The stories shared throughout this blog are not written in perfect chronological order because trauma and realization rarely unfold neatly. Memories surface unexpectedly. Certain events only make sense years later. Many of these reflections are written as those realizations return and begin connecting themselves into a larger picture.
Everything written here is true.
I am not a therapist or professional expert. I write only from lived experience.
My hope is that by sharing these stories openly, others may recognize warning signs earlier, better understand manipulative relationship patterns, and realize they are not alone in what they are experiencing.
Writing this blog has become part of my own healing process.
Sometimes the first step toward reclaiming yourself is simply realizing that the patterns you lived through have names — and that others have survived them too.
With understanding,
Liza Seamone
Author, Where Did I Go?
Where did I go? 