Understanding a Narcissist: A Survivor’s Journey

I am the ex-wife of a narcissist. Narcissistic traits included being a liar, a cheater, and a sex addict. I’m writing this blog for two reasons: self-therapy and to reach out to other victims, in hopes that they, too, can benefit from my experience. Sex addiction is a little-recognized disease. Often laughed at and ignored for the problem that it is. Sex addiction is as bad as any drug or alcohol addiction, attacking emotions as well as destroying the lives of many. Sex addiction strikes many victims on the path of the addicted. My husband walked into the lives of many women who had no idea of his disease. They were lured in by his good looks, charm, and way with words. His game hurt many, destroyed our marriage, and hurt our children and both our families. It is a daily struggle trying to rebuild confidence and trust, and even love. I am a strong person, but what about those who lack strength? I hope the words I write can give some insight to anyone who reads them. My objective is to help people better understand that this affliction truly does exist and may be in your home, next door, or across the street. In my blog, I will make posts that will explain what I went through, what others I know have gone through, and some of the signs you can look for to alert you of the possibility that you, too, have a liar, cheater, and/or sex addict in your home or life.

It’s been a journey to the realization . . .
I am the victim of a sex-addicted spouse. I ask myself over and over how I could possibly have gotten myself into this position. Sex addiction is as serious as drug addiction or alcohol addiction, with the same results. It puts the lives of others at risk and is far more emotional—after all, sex is supposed to be an intimate thing. Something between two people strongly attracted to one another. In most of our upbringing, we are taught that sex includes love. So when you discover your partner opening up to what, in your opinion, is anyone and everyone he (or she) can get attention from, sex addiction becomes an emotional roller coaster.

I am the victim of a husband who is addicted to sex, and I want to share my story. I want to share my story so that other wives (victims and co-conspirators), who face this affliction in their spouses, partners, etc., can better understand why it is “NOT YOUR FAULT.”

I will tell my story with this man from beginning to end. The posts will come randomly as the events come back to me. I will also share the signs to look for. The lies told, the actions of a cheater, and things that will assist you with what to be aware of. I am by no means an expert and do not know everything, but I am on husband number three, and each one has been a liar and a cheater; therefore, I have experienced much. I have experienced the long, hard route of what characteristics to look for in a man and which ones send up red flags. What is my fault—taking three husbands (7 years, 7 years, 24 years) to come to terms with the fact that my fault is the choices I have made? I have come to the realization that I am a bad judge of character when it comes to men. Something I proudly hope I am no longer guilty of as of 2012!

I hope this blog and my posts will help you, or at least give you some sort of comfort that you are not alone.