Category: About the Author

About Me
Liza Seamone is not my real name.

I created this blog as a way to process and make sense of a lifetime of experiences involving narcissistic behavior, chronic infidelity, manipulation, compulsive sexual behavior, and the emotional confusion that often comes from loving people who are incapable of loving in healthy ways.

Long before I understood what narcissism was, I was being shaped by it.

I was raised in a deeply dysfunctional and emotionally abusive environment where survival often meant taking care of others while ignoring my own needs. Looking back now, I can see that many of the relationship patterns I later accepted in adulthood began in childhood.

I was married for the first time at only sixteen years old. I was not pregnant. I was simply very young, emotionally unprepared for adulthood, and raised in circumstances where independence came far too early.

Over the years, I experienced repeated patterns of betrayal, secrecy, manipulation, infidelity, and emotional instability across multiple relationships and marriages. My longest relationship — a marriage that lasted nearly twenty-five years after several years of dating — eventually forced me to confront the reality that I had spent much of my life entangled with narcissistic behavior and compulsive sexual patterns that I did not fully understand at the time.

Like many people in these relationships, I spent years questioning my instincts, doubting my perceptions, and wondering whether I was somehow responsible for the chaos surrounding me.

It took me more than fifteen years within that relationship to fully understand the depth of the manipulation, deception, and emotional damage I was experiencing.

The stories shared throughout this blog are not written in perfect chronological order because trauma and realization rarely unfold neatly. Memories surface unexpectedly. Certain events only make sense years later. Many of these reflections are written as those realizations return and begin connecting themselves into a larger picture.

Everything written here is true.

I am not a therapist or professional expert. I write only from lived experience.

My hope is that by sharing these stories openly, others may recognize warning signs earlier, better understand manipulative relationship patterns, and realize they are not alone in what they are experiencing.

Writing this blog has become part of my own healing process.

Sometimes the first step toward reclaiming yourself is simply realizing that the patterns you lived through have names — and that others have survived them too.

With understanding,
Liza Seamone
Author, Where Did I Go?

How a Narcissistic Relationship Often Begins—and Why It’s So Hard to Leave

“Most narcissistic relationships don’t begin with abuse. They begin with a dream.”

If narcissistic relationships began with insults, manipulation, and emotional abuse, very few people would stay. Instead, they often begin with what feels like the perfect romance. You meet someone who seems to understand you better than anyone ever has. They share your interests. They laugh at your jokes. They seem fascinated by everything about you. They tell you they’ve never met anyone like you.

It feels magical. It feels like destiny. Looking back, many survivors realize they weren’t falling in love with a person. They were falling in love with a carefully created image.

Stage One: Love Bombing

The relationship often begins with overwhelming attention. You receive constant texts and phone calls. Compliments never seem to end. They want to spend every available moment with you.

You may hear phrases like:

• “I’ve never felt this way before.”
• “You’re my soulmate.”
• “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you.”
• “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

At first, it feels exciting. Who doesn’t want to feel deeply loved? But healthy love grows steadily. Love bombing tries to skip the process of truly getting to know someone.

Stage Two: Becoming Your Perfect Match

One of the reasons narcissistic relationships feel so convincing is that they often involve mirroring. Suddenly, the other person seems to love everything you love. They enjoy your hobbies. They agree with your opinions. They admire your dreams. It can feel as though you’ve finally met someone who truly “gets” you. Looking back, many survivors realize the relationship wasn’t built on shared interests. It was built on carefully reflecting their own interests back to them. (One of Blend’s exes told me Blend went out and bought an identical bike to hers. This type of behavior is typical.)

Stage Three: Creating Dependency

As the relationship deepens, emotional dependence often begins to form. The narcissistic partner may gradually become the center of your world. They want to be the person you call first. The person who comforts you. The person who solves your problems. At first, this can feel incredibly supportive. Eventually, however, it may become controlling. Healthy relationships encourage independence. Unhealthy relationships often discourage it.

Once the narcissist is settled in with you, the criticism and devaluation begin.

Stage Four: Devaluation

Once emotional attachment has been established, something begins to change. The compliments become criticism. Instead of praising your appearance, they begin criticizing your clothes. Instead of admiring your body, they point out your flaws. Instead of celebrating your accomplishments, they question your decisions. Your spending habits. Your intelligence. Your parenting. Even your friendships. The person who once made you feel extraordinary now makes you wonder if you’re ever good enough. Many survivors spend years trying to become the person they were told they once were. The truth is… That person never stopped existing. The relationship changed.

Stage Five: Gaslighting

As criticism increases, reality often becomes harder to trust.

You may hear things like:

  • “That never happened.”
  • “You’re imagining things.”
  • “You’re too sensitive.”
  • “You’re remembering it wrong.”

Over time, you begin questioning your own memory and judgment. Instead of trusting yourself, you begin relying on the very person who is causing the confusion. That is one reason gaslighting can be so devastating. It doesn’t simply change your perception of events. It changes your confidence in yourself.

Stage Six: The Cycle Begins Again

Just when you begin pulling away…
The person you fell in love with suddenly reappears. The compliments return. The flowers arrive. The apologies sound sincere. Promises are made. For a brief time, everything feels wonderful again. You begin to believe things have changed.

Then… The criticism returns. The manipulation resumes. The cycle starts all over.

This repeated pattern of affection followed by emotional pain creates what many professionals describe as a trauma bond. The relationship becomes increasingly difficult to leave—not because it is healthy, but because hope keeps returning just often enough to keep you emotionally invested.

Breaking the Cycle

One of the hardest truths to accept is that the wonderful person you met in the beginning may not have been the whole person. Even though you feel they were, that doesn’t mean every happy memory was fake. It means healthy relationships don’t require you to lose yourself in order to keep someone else’s love. Real love doesn’t ask you to constantly prove your worth. It doesn’t make you earn kindness. It doesn’t leave you wondering which version of your partner will come home today. Healthy love is consistent. It is respectful. It allows both people to grow without fear.

Reflection

Looking back, I’ve come to understand that manipulation rarely announces itself. It arrives dressed as affection. That’s why so many intelligent, compassionate people find themselves asking, “How did I miss the signs?” The answer is simple. You weren’t looking for someone to deceive you. You were looking for someone to love you. There is no shame in that. The lesson isn’t to stop believing in love. The lesson is to learn the difference between intensity and consistency. Because healthy love doesn’t rush to convince you. It patiently earns your trust.

Until next time… Remember… While betrayal leaves scars, love leaves a legacy.
narcissist-devaluation— Liza Seamone

The Cost of One Person’s Choices

There are moments in life when people say, “It was just an affair.”

No. Affairs are rarely “just” affairs. Sometimes they leave behind broken marriages. Sometimes they leave behind broken children. Sometimes they leave behind generations of pain.

And sometimes… They leave behind graves. I know because my family lived it.

My sister, Carole, was only twenty-four years old when a series of choices made by others ultimately cost her life. She spent fifty days in the hospital while our community donated more than 172 pints of blood in a desperate attempt to save her. On January 18, 1968, she died from her injuries.

Carole left behind two small children who would grow up without their mother.

She left behind a little sister—me—who had finally found safety in her home after the State removed me from an abusive environment and placed me in her custody. Carole didn’t just give me a home. She gave me love. She gave me stability. She taught me that I mattered.

Then she was gone.

The affair that contributed to destroying my sister’s family did not end there. Her husband eventually married the very woman with whom he had been involved. She had left her own husband while he was serving in Vietnam, leaving behind their infant son. What began as betrayal became another marriage built on the ruins of two families.

But the marriage did not last, and the pattern didn’t stop. Over the years, there were more relationships, more affairs, and multiple marriages. Eventually, our family lost count.

Some people spend their lives chasing the excitement of the next relationship, believing happiness is always found in someone new. Whether driven by narcissistic traits, compulsive sexual behavior, or an inability to form healthy emotional attachments, the result is often the same.

The people left behind pay the highest price. Children grow up questioning their worth. Spouses spend years wondering why they weren’t enough. Families become divided. Trust becomes impossible. Love becomes confused with control, manipulation, or abandonment.

My nephew lived under the constant criticism of a father who made him believe he would never measure up. Those words became part of the story he told himself. He never married. Whether that was because of those wounds, only he can answer. But emotional abuse has a way of shaping the lives of children long after they become adults.

My niece chose a different path. She carried forward the legacy of her mother instead of the legacy of her father. She was and is kind. She is loving. She became compassionate. She proved something I have come to believe with all my heart. Our past may shape us, but it does not have to define us.

A young girl with her Vintage photograph of Carole holding her younger sister later becoming her legal guardian. The image symbolizes unconditional love, healing from childhood abuse, and the lasting legacy of a sister whose compassion changed a life forever.
My sister Carole holding me over a decade before I came to live with her. In a world filled with fear and uncertainty, she became my safe place. She taught me that while betrayal leaves scars, love leaves a legacy—and I have carried hers with me every day since.

There is another lesson hidden inside this story.

People often ask me why I write so much about narcissistic behavior, betrayal, and emotional abuse. Because I have grown up around them, and these aren’t simply personality quirks. Unchecked selfishness destroys families. Repeated betrayal changes children’s futures. Emotional abuse steals confidence for decades. And compulsive infidelity rarely hurts only two people. Its victims often include children, siblings, parents, grandchildren, and even generations yet to come.

I don’t tell this story because I want revenge. Frank has been gone for many years. He will answer only to God now. I tell this story because somewhere, someone reading these words may be living with a person whose repeated betrayals are being excused as “just the way they are.”

Please don’t dismiss the warning signs. Love should never require you to lose yourself. And children deserve to grow up believing they are enough.

My sister Carole taught me that. Her life lasted only twenty-four years. Her love has lasted a lifetime. Perhaps that is the greatest legacy any of us can leave behind.

Reflection

“People often ask why I write about narcissism, betrayal, and emotional abuse. The answer is simple. I watched one person’s selfish choices echo through generations. I also watched one extraordinary woman’s love do the same. In the end, I learned that while betrayal leaves scars, love leaves a legacy.”