Starting Off With A Warning

This was the very first post I wrote when I began this blog.

Looking back now, I realize that even then, I was already asking myself the same question that would follow me for years:

How many times have I said, “I should have known”?

With hindsight, the warning signs often seem obvious. At the time, however, they can be easy to dismiss, especially when they arrive wrapped in charm and attention. To tell this story, I’ll use the name Blend. It’s not his real name, but it feels appropriate. He seemed to be a blend of many things—charisma, humor, persistence, and a darker side I wouldn’t fully understand until much later.

How It Began

I met Blend the night before Thanksgiving.

At the time, I was helping out at a comedy club in the evenings. It was a lively place filled with laughter, music, and people enjoying a night out. Blend walked in with a confident presence and an easy smile. We talked briefly, laughed a little, and before the night ended, he asked for my phone number.

It seemed like a harmless moment.

But later I would learn that his interest in me had begun earlier than I realized. For some time, he had been quietly observing my routine and watching from a distance.

At the time, of course, I had no idea.

The First Sign Something Was Off

The next evening, after returning home from Thanksgiving dinner with friends, I walked into my house and noticed something strange. My answering machine was filled with messages.

Not one or two. Many. They were all from Blend.

At first the messages sounded enthusiastic—persistent attempts to reach someone he had just met. But as we listened to them more carefully, the tone began to feel different. It felt excessive.

My friends and I stood there replaying them, trying to understand why someone I had only met briefly would call so many times in such a short period. One of my friends finally said something that stayed with me. “He sounds troubled.” At the time, I brushed the comment aside. But years later, I would remember that moment very clearly.

The Beginning of a Long Lesson

Over time, I would learn that what seemed like an intense interest in the beginning was actually something much more complicated. Looking back now, that night feels like the first glimpse of a pattern I would spend many years trying to understand. That’s why I began writing this blog.

Not to relive the past, but to share the warning signs that are often easiest to see after the damage has already been done. Because sometimes what looks charming in the beginning can hide something far more troubling beneath the surface. And sometimes the quiet voice saying “something isn’t right” deserves more attention than we give it.

Reflection

Hindsight has a way of illuminating the moments we once dismissed. The early signs that seem small at the time can later reveal the beginning of a much larger story.

Learning to recognize those signals may be one of the most valuable lessons we ever gain.